When everything else is gone
when everyone has left
when theres nothing to do
I thought I'd be happy, in a way, I'd feel free.
but Ive been left with a heavy heart
and something on my conscience
and Im trying to be positive
and im trying to get on with things
but I can't
Theres so much I want to say to you
but I can hardly look at you
and its not in anger
nor is it with hurt
it is with pure shame
Everytime I see you, I hate myself
I hate what I did...
or what I couldn't find the courage to do
and if I could change things I honestly would.
I want you to read this
and i want to tell you why
but you wont, and I cant...
but I have to...and I will try.
I know there is so much you want to say to me
and I know I do not want to hear it
...because I know it will all be true
...and it will be the actions of a person I am growing to hate
This cloud over my head will not go away
I dread the rain, I dread the thunder and the lightning,
but maybe once the storm is over there will be sunshine.
....Im really afraid of the storm.
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