Love/Hate

You pull me in, with your routine
your familiarity.
You make me feel proud, like an achiever,
Strong, like a rock
You challenge me, everytime.

But you push me
to the edge
...you're pushing me over the edge
and I'm slipping,
I'm watching the ground I stand upon fall from beneath my feet
I can see it hurtling down and breaking into 1000 pecies on the ground below
The ground that I so dearly love.

You hinder my enjoyment
Halt parts of my life
and remove shards of happiness from my heart.

You steal my time,
you take it and toy with it, like a cat to a mouse.
you torture me with your eternal darkness,
your angry conditions,
your chill,

so cold.

You make me feel like a broken toy
looking intact,
but the cogs aren't turning properly anymore,
with the happy face painted on,
and the beauty etched in the hard, cold plastic.

Functioning, but not actually being.

I hate you so much.
But I can't help but love you.
I am addicted.

I read somewhere:
'Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you'


...really?

40 winks

We sleep...
everyday

we sleep...
to escape our lives,

to regenerate,

to dream.

to imagine the unimagineable,

to return to that place...that moment.


Today I slept.

The Centre Line

Theres something liberating about walking down the middle of a road

Houses on either side

Nothing in front, nothing behind


Just you, and the road.

Theres a feeling of safety,
but complete vulnerability

And you don't realise it,
but there could be eyes, watching you from windows up high
from hidden places, places we do not realise even exist.

Maybe on day we will discover them.


So I walk, with my head held high,
and with quiet sureness of myself.
Hoping that maybe someone will notice.

But I am content, walking alone.
I know where I am going,
and I do not forget where I have been.

I like this road, with its cobbles
its ups and downs,
its twists and turns,

and its my road, I have it all to myself.

Come and walk with me, for a while
we can talk, we can laugh....


Maybe we have the same destination.