Monday, 8 March 2010
Once I stood in a room full of people and felt completely alone. I didnt share those jokes, I didnt feel the warmth of friendship, I didnt feel carefree. I was drowning. I felt suffocated by other peoples happiness, their friendship. I felt like a dog inside, sat there, looking longingly out at the park and the open air.
I made the effort never to feel like this again. I surrounded myself with friends, made their friendship mine, made their happiness warm me. I became able to pick and choose my friends, let people down, hurt people's feelings. I became a bad friend, but I could feel it happening to me, I could see I was becoming someone I loathed. I didn't care, I was happy, secure, surrounded.
That room full of strangers was now a room full of friends.
I hope they do not become strangers, forget my name, forget my face, loathe me....not need me.
I need them. All of the money in the world cannot buy you friends. It cannot replace those you trust. Those you can share a joke..and a tear with are more important that all the gold in King Solomons mines. If you have no one to share that with, then you have nothing to live for.
I can walk through the wilderness and never feel alone, because that friendship never leaves me, it may fade, but it always glows warm withtin my heart. And that warmth is something that cannot be replaced.